Had been pretty busy in the past week coz meeting up with different groups of friends to 'celebrate' my bday..hoho..
many frenz had msg me or msn on 30th...thanks so much!!...muacks!!

Have to say it's my happiest bday ever coz the past ones were always sad or distant to meet up most of my friends.
thank you all so much for making it a nice one.

For those seniors who complain that i never appear in orientation, I shall show my face more than enough from now onwards.
Go RH!!

---

有些问题，我永远找不到答案，
即便有了答案，我亦不愿意去面对。
只是在面对着你眼睛的时候，
我才知道，
原来眼泪是多么的猝不及防。

寂寞和遗忘不等。
难道我就这样困在这里？

这一秒的空气，渗透着多少回忆，
呼吸着如同烟草的沉重，一圈圈，圈住比烟草更浓烈的呼吸。
对你的思念，恰似埋葬多年的宝藏，
被发掘的一刹那，失而复得的感觉，竟然是痛心。

眼泪和真爱不等。
如果这一辈子真的得不到自己期望的幸福，
后悔就从此刻开始。

---

Had a quality-time-spending with y.c b4 she left for KL. Was really glad that friends could stay close even though we may not see each often in sch coz we both got things to be busy with. Felt guilty that I only bought her a present while spending more time to make presents for xiao and ede. But i told her she is always not less impt that any other friends too.

Went all the way to meet Ede at Tech (woodland) just now, I made a two-paged scrapbook for her coz I forgot to buy flowers for her graduation. Think she is tired and stressed at work, so tot that this little present would cheer her up.

Was discussing with cy and yf online abt the celebration on sat night, and was so touched that they put so much effort in it (xiao as well), and even called down all the handsome boys (well, got some not so handsome, lol).

Sometimes I think I put more effort in friendship than relationship. At least I never take friends for granted. Think becoz relationship is the one disappointed me all the while and I can't feel secure about it at all.

I also dont know what I am waiting for, maybe a proof, a proof tt there will be someone loves 4 e rest of his life

是不是因为长大了，所以什么事情都复杂化，还是我天生就是如此复杂而又不可理喻的思维方式。
小米啊，小迦这次真的糊涂，真的搞不清楚状况。
头痛啊，头痛啊。
怎么办，诶，我也不想怎么办了。
就这样吧。

I just bought a new phone, samsumg F300. the one advertisement, that the phone flips both sides!!
sounds cool sia, when ya use it, it's qt cool too. hoho...but exp...dun wanna say that price...coz i dont care.
Check out my phone here then
==========================================================================

读了样子的blog，刹那间感叹涌入胸口，
如血的夕阳，璀璨的星空，
曾几何时我的梦，也是如此让人窒息，让人沉重。
只是在一次一次被现实碰碎了那坚强的心之后，
才知道，爱我的你，和爱你的我，是那么的可遇不可求。
而快乐就如同山那一头的溪水川流，
只是在你身边的时候，偶尔听到清脆的叮咙声。

生命因为梦想的破碎而变得索然无味，
而我因为走不进你心里而刹那茫然。

The first time, in NUS, I get what I put as first choice, hooray.
My FYP title is ' Behavioral study of Financial Markets'. Well, what a non-engineering project for a EE student.
But that is where my interest and motivation lies, i feel really blessed.
Yay!!

Just went to borrow two books that the professor asked me to read. so what is behavioral finance? it is the application of psychology to financial behavior. U see? psychology. Gosh, life really goes in circle, psychology is what I wanted to major
when I applied to liberal arts college in US.

=tbc=

Just read the email again. Broke into tears immediately when my eyes came cross 'qiqi, happy 9th anniversary'.
I thought i'm already okie with it, but i am wrong. Quote from jinz, 大千世界，醉生梦死，我对你依恋依然。

原来心里的伤，竟然可以如此反复。

I really regretted to have been to SEP, as it changes my life in such a terrible way.
Ye wrote in her blog that '人生是在偿还年轻时犯下的错误的债', I would not agree with it more! The only way that I could comfort myself is that maybe things would end in a same way even though I have never been to SEP.

As for now, I jus feel that I cant get over the previous relationship rather than cant get over anybody. I still remember how much effort I have put in and how hard i have convinced myself to love him sincerely, truly and eternally until his words broke
my dream of a true love.

I didnt know my heart shattered in a same way.

If crying could help, if making myself busy could help, if indulging my life could help, if living like there is no tomorrow could help.

Always sleep at 5am these days, and today is the best, don‘t think i am going to sleep.

Have been chatting with Lala lately, so enjoyable though it makes me adapt a Greenwich biological clock.
I wondering why such a long-distance friendship can last for almost 3 yrs while a sincere relationship seems to be such an
impossibility to me. Lala n xx have been circulating emails with me these days and they always provide me with the most
rational, most valuable advice that I need in life. The fact that friends is the reason that I still live until today is the truth.

Friendship is always my first priority, but the only difference is that I really feel what it means to me deep down inside my heart though I still joke around abt life. There are several true friends that I wanna treasure, and I know it clearly that I won't let them go even we may get busy becoz of sch or work. Guess i nv treasure a guy in such a way.

Even though I may not have really made her angry, I still feel bad abt it. She is someone I would treasure, and I have been trying
my best to please her. Lala said, sincerity will do, and I hope I will make my friend uncomfortable again.

Have been extremely impatient, easily irritated and bad-temper at Francis, though he does not deserve it at all. Paiseh! He commented that Leo girls are scary coz they are temperamental, which made me ponder at for quite awhile. Temperamental,
what a scary word, and that describes me!!! sad lah...

可以肆无忌惮的打闹，可以无边无际的玩笑，
可以撒娇的和你要东要西，可以暧昧的不顾旁人的眼光，
只是你我心里都很明白，这一切和爱情无关。
如果用一个词来形容，我觉得‘家人’最为贴切。
我承认我是有点自私，你如此宠爱我也觉得是理所当然。
即便有一天你有了真正爱的人，我知道你依然会疼我这个妹妹的。

据悉几位朋友失恋，除了冠冕堂皇的安慰着，也由衷的说了一句，
其实单身是福。
不需要太多责任，太多付出，不用那样牵肠挂肚，不用这样心疲力竭，
很多执友已经狐疑我是不是有艳遇，而真相和现实往往就是那样的难以预测。
当一个人不清楚他自己到底要的是什么时，未来就是一个等于零的猜测。

这是一种感觉，
一种只有站在你身边才有的感觉。
虽然其实你什么也没有做，什么也没有说，
所以我叫那种感觉做，温柔。

你的温柔，
让我有种莫名的安全感，
仿佛不用担心下一秒世界是崩塌是摧残。
你的温柔，
毫不吝啬的宠着我的心血来潮，
不自禁的在回味时都有笑容爬上嘴角。
你的温柔，
如此丝丝入扣，如此绵绵不绝，
却只换来我一声叹息。

大千世界，醉生梦死，这样的温柔能持续多久，能享受多久？
心头窜过一丝冷冷的寒流。

I went to cut hair yesterday..dragged thiang to go with me.
Was earlier than the appointment, so waited awhile.
The place is recommended by yangyang, somewhere in holland v.
The hairstylist is from China, and he is cute, cute as in when he talked about how lousy Singaporean hairstylists are,
which made me really have a good laugh coz thiang was there and apparently he claimed tt he could understand the accent.

Anyway i like the haircut, which made me half-a-year younger, quoted from thiang. haha..think most likely I will go back
to do treatment coz my hair is vy dry.

See how bored I am, even wrote a blog about me having a hair-cut. But just wanna say thanks to thiang, coz
he was there waiting for me for qt long. 2 hrs. So thiang is a nice guy, haha..girls, go and get him then!!!

oh ya, supposed to watch transformers, but this mahjong boy slept late, could have a good gauge of how much he drank last
night.

My Wife Is a Gangster III is coming up tml..cant wait for it!!

Just went to sing kbox today,
after a long break of kbox marathon with dingding, it's the first time I sing so many songs at one goal.
那一首首的情歌，就好像一根根不见影子的绣花针，
深深的刺痛了心里的，记忆中的角角落落。
『可惜不是你，陪我到最后，
　曾一起走却走失那路口
　感谢那是你牵过我的手
　还能感受那温柔』
『分手伤了谁
谁把他变美
我的眼泪写成了诗已无所谓』
『字不醉人人自醉
因为回忆总是美』
『有的人说不清哪里好
但就是谁都替代不了』

words by words, with the melody, with the memory,
intoxicated me in few moments,
that made me realize that I still miss ya somewhere in my heart.
It's going to be one year, that i have been pulling myself in and out,
in and out this trap
this trap of love and regret.

===================================================
played pool after kbox.
pool, the game that darling boy lead me to play,
he is so zai in pool that i lost to him 7 matches consecutively the last time we played.
傻傻的发现他打球时的一频一笑就这样印在心中，
深刻如此，熟悉如此，就好像自己的生日，
不需记起，因为从不曾忘记。
===================================================
I took a deep breath, and told myself,
LET IT GO.
Let It Go,
let it go.

Ya used to tel me that if we were already 26 or older, you would have married me.
It could be an immature, irresponsible, irrational statement,
but I did take it to heart.
and what the hell am I still 23.